Phases of Awakening 2 : Questioning

Doubts turn into meaningful questions.

There is a growing discomfort - a deepening feeling that something is wrong or missing. We begin to seriously question mass consciousness and the validity of rules, beliefs and laws. Things that once gave us comfort like religion or tradition are no longer satisfying. The places we used to enjoy now feel superficial or a waste of time. 

We begin to sense that even the ideas people have about how to solve the problems in the world may be looking only at the surface - the symptoms, rather than the deeper unseen causes.

As we question everything, including the roles we play, we may feel lost, betrayed, overwhelmed or exhausted by life.

We may blame religion, family, culture, government or the world in general for our dissatisfaction. 

Our focus may settle on specific people to blame for issues and pain we experience. As we shift responsibility onto others we get angry and resentful. 

We might move from victim to survivor, but we still feel powerless to change the underlying causes we believe we know are there.

Although we are searching for answers, we are trapped in the reality we have known. 

Because we feel lost, we start to look at ideas that previously seemed ridiculous, but if they challenge our beliefs too much, fear brings us back, keeping us asleep a little longer.

In our search for answers, doubt, confusion, anxiety and even depression may come. We keep up appearances in our lives, but secretly we may feel desperately alone.

As more challenges come along, tolerable discomfort turns into pain and suffering. Our beliefs start to get broken down as we lose things in the world, people, relationships, or we suffer physical difficulties. 

We go inwards to ask the question: "Why has this happened to me?"

Introspection brings us to seeing how our unconscious programming has been running our lives, but our habit of wanting to be accepted is still stronger than our desire to free ourselves, so although our ego has begun to crack, only a small amount of light has started to shine in.

We now understand that the outside world is not able to give us the answers, but we are still playing the game in it — seeking happiness externally, in other people, places and experiences. 

In this phase there can be a great deal of emotional triggering. We will experience new trauma and keep re-living past trauma. We may feel fragile or vulnerable. All kinds of issues are coming to the surface – ultimately to be transcended as the Awakening deepens.