If you feel intense grief and loss - retreat inside and see if you can find where the emotions are coming from.
At some point a realisation happens: "I am not my emotions or my thoughts".
Emotions and thoughts are there - but "I" am too - in the background, so to speak.
This sense of "I" is not involved with the emotions and thoughts.
Emotions and thoughts are powerful magnetic attractions, but if attention is placed on this "I", their power begins to fade.
What is this "I"?
Discover the answer to this by placing your attention in it as often as possible.
Feel inside for this presence of "I".
Find that place from which your sense of "I" comes from. It is just a quiet space that lies behind all experiences of emotion and all thoughts.
Your "I" is in the same realm as the eternal "I" of every being, whether they are still in a body or not. The "I" never dies - only the body dies.
The stronger your connection to this "I" - the weaker all emotions and thoughts become.
Retreat into your inner "I" whenever emotions or thoughts become painful.
Persevere with this and one day the only feeling you will experience when a memory of loss comes into your mind will be love - and you will smile...